Hey, DJ Keep Playing That Song

If there is one thing that I am sure of, it is that patterns are hard to break.  Lessons are not easy to learn.  But without fail, lessons will repeat themselves in our lives until we get it right.  Like that movie, the Groundhog Day.

There will be people in our lives that bring out the worst in us.  People that, like a magnet, draw out the metallic insecurities and the fears; the fighter, the hater, the judger or the manipulator as if they were iron-coated steel.  Over and over again, we will be challenged until we own up to the fact that it’s not these metal robots that are bringing out the worst in us, it is not them who are to blame, for they are merely a very highly polished reflection of all the things in ourselves that we don’t care to take a look at; placed onto our paths so that we might open up our eyes and see.

And if we choose not to pay attention?  Oh, don’t worry, another will be right along shortly to repeat the message.

A student walked into the studio the other day who looked exactly like my ex-boyfriends’ new girlfriend.  I instantly felt my hackles raise and repressed the urge to leap over the front-desk, snarling and demanding, “Just what the hell are YOU doing here?”  Ha!!  Imagine that being the poor doppelgangers’ first experience to yoga!  Lesson to be learned?—love the girlfriend.  He’s happy.
(I’m trying, really I am.)

My pregnant roommate all but tolerated my presence when I first moved into this house.  Her coldness was palpable and she barely acknowledged me, even when I spoke to her directly.  And it took her three weeks to finally break down in tears and apologize, confessing that somehow, I reminded her of freedom in her life she had yet to experience and might now never.  She was jealous, and maybe a little scared and was brave enough to come face to face with sometimes the scariest reflection around—your own. 

Not to mention, the plethora of friends who repeat patterns in their relationships.  They remain in these on-and-off again affairs, or enter into new relationships with the same issues as the last.  Same story, different guy.  (I was not exempt from this list until only recently, and the proof is yet to be in the pudding until I see whom I choose as my next Mr. Right—or Mr. Wrong, but let’s stay positive, shall we?)

Habits are hard to break.  Like a record, we get stuck in the same grooves that keep skipping in the same spot.  Dee-jay, what is spinning on your turntable??

It’s why I find it so helpful to quiet the mind.  A quiet mind has time and space to listen and witness what is on repeat.  Noticing, like the streaming string of words at the bottom of the News Channel—NEWS FLASH, this just in:  Jen is thinking about her thighs again.  SPECIAL REPORT:  self-esteem severely maimed in a flash-flood of self-deprecating thoughts, stupid.

The quiet mind watches these thoughts go by, and says without judgement, hmmm….interesting.

So that maybe you can ignore the skip and still hear the song.

This is one of my all-time favourite quotes:
“When you open yourself to the continually changing, impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You’re able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open. And you notice when you get caught up in prejudice, bias, and aggression. You develop an enthusiasm for no longer watering those negative seeds, from now until the day you die. And, you begin to think of your life as offering endless opportunities to start to do things differently.”   (Pema Chodron)

Endless opportunities, as in, every single moment is a chance to fling yourself off of the hamster wheel and fly onto a new path.  Every.  Single.  One.

Until, of course, a new robot, doppelganger, mirror or lesson comes our way and we get a chance to learn something else about ourselves.

But that’s life, and isn’t growing fun???


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robin Hewitt
    Feb 18, 2012 @ 07:36:26

    Brilliant and Funny – because it’s true 🙂


  2. Leanne Devine
    Feb 18, 2012 @ 13:52:57

    Jenn I really love and appreciate your honesty and sense of humor! We are so lucky to have you with us at Moksha Charlottetown! 🙂


  3. Virginia
    Feb 19, 2012 @ 22:41:26

    Just discovered your blog… and I am already an addicted fan! :o)
    You are a truly gifted writer Jen. Thoughtful, insightful and beautiful, inside and out (and yes, that includes your lovely tall & toned thighs! You are gorgeous!)
    I was really bummed out I didn’t get to give you a goodbye hug on Saturday… miss ya already.
    How about coffee & breakfast at the farmers market next Saturday?
    Cheers darling,


  4. Virginia
    Feb 19, 2012 @ 22:42:35

    Whoa, weird smiley faces! :o) was supposed to be something more like this 🙂
    Hope this works!


  5. maggie
    Feb 22, 2012 @ 12:48:30

    Very Inspiring. Bad Habits are the worst! Thank you!


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