Detox to Retox?

I am on Day Two of a 12-Day Herbal Detox.  My head hurts, my stomach is swollen, I’m exhausted, irritable and I want to be alone.  And if you so much as mention the word, “chocolate”, I might have severed your head before the           “L-A-T-E” has had a chance to roll its sugary insinuations off of the tip of your tongue.

Without fail, I have two small squares of dark chocolate almost every night after dinner.  A small enough amount to not cash in the caloric count, but just enough sugar to appease Little Miss Sweet Tooth.

And who knew that those two little morsels were so ingrained into my routine, that I was so attached to my Chocolate Time, that I contemplate death threats without them.

I have whittled my vices down to two:  coffee and…yep, you guessed it.  Chocolate.  Although, chocolate does pair very nicely with red wine.  But that’s another story.

What’s interesting is that when you limit your diet, when you remove the vices, do you suddenly feel smug and clean and a master of your own willpower?  No.  You start to realize that you probably had more addictions than just two.

Yogurt, for instance.  Again, a daily fixture in my diet.  Every morning, for years.  And now that I’m not allowed dairy, not allowed my yogurt, I realized I need to add yogurt to the Vice-List.  Which still, all things considered, is not so bad.  At least my list doesn’t look like this:  coffee, chocolate, yogurt, crack cocaine.

The thing is, cleanses, detoxes, gluten-free, corn-free, pescatarian, vegetarian with the exception of bacon (It’s true, I know these people) are all the rage right now.  And while it is commendable that we are making changes in how we consume food, how we treat our bodies, and the choices we make in terms of our diet, why are we not mentally chomping on Life Laxatives and doing emotional detoxes as well?  What else might I need to join a Twelve-Step program for?  What other things do I “consume” on a daily basis that aren’t all that good for me?

The occasionally surfacing, but deeply seeded notion that I am unlovable.  The daily doubt that I am doing the right thing in my life; that I’m not supposed to be “serious”, making money and settled instead of having fun, travelling and living my dream.  The anxiety and guilt over my productivity, or lack thereof, in each day.  The constant struggle with body image, aging, dating, mating, creating, contributing, inspiring, —.  We all have our own Chicken Sludge for the Soul, which we shovel in by the Russian spoonful each and every day.

We have one shot in this body.  That’s it.  One.  Our lives are not a dress rehearsal for something grander, more glamorous or more spectacular.  There is no better time.  And if we routinely choose organic because it’s healthier and it tastes better, because there is flavour in organic food, should we not also demand the Fla-vah-Flav from our lives?

“Fruitcakes,” my favourite Jimmy Buffet song, says this:  “I treat my body like a temple, you treat yers like a TENT!!”

So what’s it going to be?  Are we praying; bowing down to Flavour, to all that is good, nutritious, joyous, compassionate, clean and DIVINE inside our skin; or are we rooting around in the dirt with a flimsy tarp over our heads?

The choice is yours.  Detox or Retox???

(but can I still eat chocolate?)

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jennifer MacDonald
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 19:35:41

    very interesting to try this cleanse thing


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