Imua: Go Forward with Spirit.

you are enough

It’s so fascinating how complicated our stories are:  how traumatic, how sad, how shocking; and the resilience of the human being is astounding.  The way we deny and lie, avoid ourselves in order to protect or just deal.  The things we do in the name of fear, resistance, and making ourselves look small.  All of the ways we defend who we believe we ARE…..an unyielding sentinel standing guard over our concern for looking good; always working for approval…..straining to be enough.

You, too, have a story.

“I’m not loveable.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I am alone.”
“I deserved it.”
“I’m invisible.”
“This is just who I am.”
“I am stupid.”

We work so hard to compensate; becoming the caretaker or the organizer, the rebel, the overachiever, the public speaker, the class clown, the victim, the wallflower, the superstar.  We swallow guilt and shame until it eats us up inside, light by precious light.  At some point, we mask and belittle our greatness.  On a scale of one to ten, we accept our lives as a 2.  And just a question:  how’s that working out for you?

So, since WE ARE ALL wading in a puddle up to our knees of “There’s Something Wrong With Me,” what would happen if we gave that up?  What would we be like if we were open and undefended?  Yes, I said, OPEN and UNDEFENDED.  How might we see each other?  How would we see ourselves?? What if we give up our desire to always be right?   What if, no matter what happens, we keep moving forward with spirit?

Might we be able to let go of fear and resentment and truly connect with one another?  Might we be able to breathe again?

We all have a story.  And it’s built on lies.

Because you are enough.  You are loved.  You are seen.  YOU.  Are.  Good.

And you deserve to be good.  And you deserve to make others good.  And you have impact.

We can get present and choose to transform our stories, any time we want to. Right here, right now, even.  When you take responsibility for all of the stuff you make up, you become free.  But can we choose to be powerful? What if we just agreed to leave each other in our own greatness?

My story is your story.  And I see you.

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Let’s Start with the Man in the Mirror

mirror-reflection-600x370

There is a You Tube video that has gone viral and I’m sure you know the one.  A three-year old girl, Jessica, in blonde, curly hair, stands on the bathroom sink counter and, while fist-pumping with enthusiasm, shouts at her reflection in the mirror all of the things she loves about her life; all of the reasons that she is GRRREAT!

“I like my hair.  I like my haircuts.  I like my pajamas.  I like my stuff.  I like my room.  I like my whole HOUSE! I can do anything GOOD!  Yeah!  Yeah!  Yeah!”

There’s any number of speculations as to why this video went viral, but the one I would wager a hefty bet upon is that most of us have a hard time really, truly believing how amazing we actually are.  Let alone, having the courage to say it to our own faces.  Because, most of us, even at age 3, lack the ability to count our blessings, one by one, until we are so convinced of our awesomeness that you have to high-step yourself out the bathroom and into the rest of your day to shout, dance, live and love your greatness into the rest of your life.

How often do you stare at your reflection in the mirror, and say, “Wow.  You are fantastic!”?  If you are being honest, I’d gather that a glimpse into the looking glass might look a little more like this: “Crap, another pimple, and is that grey eyebrow hair I see?  Geez, what next?  Whiskers??  My eyes look tired and puffy today, and I shouldn’t have drank that third glass of wine last night.  I really have no willpower.  I’m sure I’ve gained three pounds and who is going to want this pasty skin that doesn’t look 25 any more?  I’m so stupid for paying 30$ for a wrinkle cream because nothing is going to fix that.”

We are, without a doubt, our own worst critics.  Ever pass one day without criticizing yourself?  Try it–NOT EASY.  Some days the self-deprecating thoughts just cling like tar to feathers.  I get so frustrated with myself when I’m confronted with these issues, because I feel like I have the tools to KNOW BETTER.  And yet, I still fall prey to feelings of dubious self-worth and questionable self-confidence.  I still falter in the ability to hold my head up high without asking for confirmation or validation from friends, lovers, family, my career, the status-quo, my financial security, my dog…the list goes one and on.  We are bombarded on a daily basis with so many reasons why we are inadequate, on all of the things we need to fix or change.  I look forward to the day when it is not the reflection from others that I seek, but rather the ability to steady my gaze in the mirror and not look away.

Self-worth is such a diaphanous concept; fleeting and difficult to master.  That ability to convince yourself of your insane awesomeness, even in the face of rejection….ESPECIALLY in the face of rejection.   That anyone who does not share your highly polished opinion of esteem is not worth your time anyways.  Why do we try to convince or prove ourselves to others?  When in reality, if you just rest easy in your greatness, in simple, humble confidence (easy-does-it Ego) and believe that you are inherently worthy…the right people will be drawn to you.  It’s physics really, and actually so simple.

It’s about not sweating the small stuff, and it’s usually all small stuff.  It’s about the fact that 9 times out of 10, it’s not about you.  It’s about even the hard shit providing a foothold to rise up from.

In no way do I have this wild beast tamed, but in the meantime, I am practicing looking in the mirror, holding my own gaze……and liking—no loving–what I see.

 

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